Make Her Prove Herself to You – Let Her Chase You

Get Her to Prove Herself to You (Then, Have Her Chase You): A Deep Dive into the Psychology of Attraction”

In the world of dating and relationships, strategies for building attraction can vary widely, but one idea often proposed is the concept of “getting her to prove herself to you”. 

The underlying premise is simple: by encouraging a woman to demonstrate her value to you, you increase the chances that she will chase you, ultimately making her more invested in the relationship. This ideology revolves around a subtle shift in dynamics—rather than the man being the pursuer, he becomes the one being pursued. But how does this work? And is it effective? Let’s explore.

The Psychology Behind “Proving Herself”

At the heart of this approach lies a fundamental principle of human psychology: people value what they have to work for. When someone invests time, energy, or emotion into something, they tend to place a higher value on it. This is often referred to as the “effort justification” effect, where people rationalize their efforts by assuming the object of their pursuit must be worthwhile.

In dating, this dynamic can play out when a man subtly challenges a woman to prove her worth. Instead of giving attention and validation too freely, he encourages her to invest in the relationship by showcasing her qualities. This tactic shifts the balance of power slightly, making the woman work to gain his approval, thus increasing her emotional attachment.

Why It Works: A Game of Scarcity

Scarcity is a powerful tool in social dynamics. When something or someone seems unattainable, it naturally becomes more desirable. If a man can create an aura of value around himself—through confidence, independence, and selectiveness—he becomes a more intriguing figure. 

By not immediately showering a woman with praise or chasing after her, the man cultivates a sense of scarcity. This doesn’t mean playing mind games or being cold, but rather demonstrating that his time and attention are valuable and not given lightly. This often leads to the woman wanting to work harder to capture his attention and “earn” his affection.

How to Encourage Her to Prove Herself

1. Set Standards  

Setting standards in a relationship is crucial. When a man establishes clear expectations of what he’s looking for in a partner, he signals that he knows his worth and won’t settle for just anyone. By setting high standards, he implicitly challenges the woman to meet those standards, leading her to showcase her qualities in order to prove she’s the right fit.

2. Be Selective With Your Time  

People tend to chase what they can’t have. If a man is overly available, it diminishes the perceived value of his time. However, being slightly unavailable or selective about when and how he interacts with her creates a sense of intrigue and mystery. She will want to prove she’s worth his time and energy.

3. Avoid Over-Complimenting or Over-Pursuing  

Compliments are great, but overdoing them can make them lose their value. If a woman feels that a man is trying too hard to win her over with excessive praise, she may start to question his motives. Instead, offering sincere, well-timed compliments that feel earned will make her appreciate them more, and she may work harder to receive them.

4. Challenge Her (Playfully)  

Gentle teasing or playful challenges can add a fun dynamic to the relationship, encouraging her to rise to the occasion and prove herself. Whether it’s through banter or light-hearted competition, challenging her to “win” in these moments adds excitement and engages her competitive side.

5. Maintain Your Own Life  

Men who are confident and focused on their own goals tend to be more attractive. Having a full, interesting life outside of the relationship can make a woman want to prove that she belongs in that life. When a man demonstrates that he’s passionate about his hobbies, career, and personal growth, it encourages her to see him as a high-value partner. She’ll naturally want to be a part of that, working to prove that she’s worthy of his attention.

The Next Step: Having Her Chase You

Once a woman has begun to prove herself, the dynamic of the relationship shifts—she becomes more invested, and in many cases, this leads her to actively pursue the man. This stage is about maintaining the balance of mutual respect while allowing her to initiate some of the effort. 

When a woman chases a man, it’s not about manipulation or games but about mutual attraction and investment. At this point, both parties are equally engaged, but she feels a stronger emotional connection due to the effort she has put in.

Key Takeaways

The idea of getting a woman to prove herself to you taps into basic psychological principles: people value what they work for, and scarcity creates desire. By encouraging her to invest effort into the relationship and subtly shifting the dynamic from pursuer to the pursued, the man increases her interest and emotional attachment.

However, it’s important to note that this strategy should always be balanced with mutual respect and sincerity. It’s not about playing hard to get or manipulating emotions—it’s about building a healthy dynamic where both partners are valued and equally invested in the relationship. Done right, it leads to stronger, more authentic connections where both parties feel like they’ve earned each other’s affection.

Continue reading: Why Attractive Guys Struggle to Get Women