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Conflicts in a relationship are normal, but they shouldn’t be allowed to become destructive. In fact, conflict can actually be a positive force in a relationship, if it’s handled in a healthy way.
Here are some tips for resolving conflicts in your relationship:
1. Avoid personal attacks
When you’re in conflict with your partner, it’s important to avoid personal attacks. This means not calling names, putting down your partner, or making threats, rather, focus more on the issues at hand and avoid making it personal.
Name-calling and put-downs are never helpful in a conflict. They only serve to make the other person feel attacked and defensive.
2. Listen to your partner
When your partner is trying to tell you how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen to them without interrupting or judging. Try to understand their point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.
You can go about talking about how you don’t agree with certain things, but first, try to listen, as this makes them feel heard and respected.
3. Express your own feelings
Once you’ve listened to your partner, it’s important to express your own feelings about the situation. Be honest and open about how you’re feeling, but don’t be aggressive or accusatory.
When you also express yourself it lets you get out any uneasiness you have in your mind so that you do not get to harbor ill feelings and unexpressed anger/anxiety
4. Find a solution that works for both of you
The goal of conflict resolution is to find a solution that works for both of you. This may mean compromising, but it doesn’t mean giving up on what you want. Be willing to brainstorm solutions that meet both of your needs.
Sometimes this may take a lot more time than you can possibly expect, but you have to keep at it knowing it is for the greater good of your relationship.
When you reach a solution that world for both of you, it makes your partner feel like they didn’t lose, while you also didn’t lose and so there will be no rife or uneasiness between you both.
5. Apologize if you’re wrong
If you’re wrong, be willing to apologize to your partner. This shows that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions and that you care about the relationship.
Contrary to what many people think, apologizing to your partner is not a sign of weakness but rather of maturity and respect.
When you apologize for a wrong action, it makes your partner feel honoured that you care about how your actions made them feel and that you want to make things right for them.
6. Stay calm
It’s easy to get heated when you’re in a conflict, but it’s important to stay calm so that you can have a productive conversation. If you’re feeling angry or upset, take a few deep breaths and try to relax before you start talking.
When you are calm, it helps you collect your thoughts and make the right decision instead of reacting in a brash way and further heating up the tension in the situation.
7. Use “I” statements
When you’re expressing your feelings, it’s helpful to use “I” statements. This means saying something like, “I feel hurt when you…” or “I’m not happy when you…” This way, you’re communicating your feelings in a way that is clear and respectful.
These statements are also meant to make your partner feel like you are not trying to put any blame on them, as this can quickly get a counter-response that will further deteriorate the situation.
8. Seek professional help if needed
If you’re struggling to resolve a conflict on your own, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can help you learn how to communicate effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way.
Resolving conflicts in a relationship takes time and effort, but it’s worth it.
Here are some bonus tips that may be helpful as well:
- Choose the right time and place to talk. Don’t try to resolve a conflict when you’re both tired, stressed, or angry. Wait until you’ve both had a chance to cool off and calm down.
- Find a safe space to talk. If you’re not comfortable talking in your home, find a different place where you can both feel safe and heard.
- Don’t try to resolve the conflict all at once. If the issue is complex, it may take time to come to a resolution. Don’t try to force a solution right away.
Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. But it doesn’t have to be destructive.
You are welcome.
Let Love lead.
Continue reading: How To Improve Communication In A Relationship